Being Vulnerable at Work
I haven’t written for my blog in a while because I’ve been traveling a lot for work. Between packing and unpacking for trips, doing my regular workday at home, and normal life stuff – it’s been busy.
A topic that’s fresh on my mind is being vulnerable at work. I work remotely, but these days I have had more opportunities to be in person with my colleagues. While most of the time I can get through an in-person workday just fine, especially as many of my symptoms are invisible. But occasionally, the long days or back-to-back meetings can cause my symptoms to make an appearance. Many of my close colleagues know I have MS, but with different types of in-person meetings and events happening, I end up spending time with others who might not know.
I’ve made the decision to be open and upfront about living with MS – but it’s taken me a long time and some reflection to get there.
For example, recently I was walking back to the hotel with some coworkers after a long day that involved a lot of standing/running around and mental exertion. I was exhausted, and my legs were just not cooperating. Where earlier in the day I was fine, now I was tired – my legs felt heavy and tingly, and I couldn’t hide the awkward gait that takes over when I’m feeling this way.
My lovely colleagues asked if I was ok – did I hurt myself? Were my shoes hurting me?
“Thank you for asking,” I replied. “I have MS, and sometimes my body just doesn’t cooperate. It’s been a long day, and I’m feeling it.”
When I’ve shared this part of my life with coworkers, they have been empathetic and understanding. Some even show curiosity and want to know more about MS and my daily life – which I’m more than happy to share. Maybe because I work in healthcare, have really nice colleagues, or have just had good luck, but that’s been my experience when I’ve decided to disclose.
I understand that others with MS, or a different chronic illness, might not want to share their diagnosis. Even though I’ve made this choice, I still worry about unconscious bias or judgement. And as I mentioned, it took me a while to be comfortable with sharing this more broadly. At first, I kept my circle pretty small, but I’ve decided to widen it as time goes on.
For my other MS friends, you don’t have to tell anyone anything you don’t want to. It’s your choice! IF you ever want to talk or learn more about how I disclose with my coworkers, drop me a line!
