Lean on Your Support Network

My husband and I recently celebrated our seventh wedding anniversary. After enjoying a delicious dinner, we looked at all the photos from our wedding and went through the awesome playlist made by our DJ. Listening to these songs and conjuring up the moment they were played, I thought about how lucky I am to have strong and stable relationships with my husband and family, and to have a beautiful, badass group of friends.

I’ve always known that my friends and family would be there for me, but it’s been since my MS diagnosis that I’ve felt immense gratitude for my unwavering support network. In the low times or even in the great ones, they have shown up. Some might not even realize the boost they are giving me through acts they might think of as small, like sending a simple text asking, “How are you?” or sharing a stupid video on Instagram that will make me laugh. When my phone rings, and I see it’s my cousin or my mom or my friend, it feels like Christmas (What can I say, I grew up in the 90s, and I love a good phone chat).

The other thing I’ve realized is that my support network is even bigger than I could have imagined because now it includes the friends and acquaintances I’ve met in the MS and chronic illness world. Even though I’ve never met some of these people in person, we share a common experience, which connects us pretty quickly. Some of these new friends have been cheerleaders, sounding boards, and motivators – urging me to keep going on a project or feel pride in the steps I’m taking.

If you live with MS or another chronic illness, or even if you are going through a rough time, lean on your support network. Many of us worry about being a burden or dumping our pain onto other people – but that’s what our support network is there for: to help us get through the tough times.

When I’m reluctant to share my struggles with friends or family, I try to think about what I would do if I were on the receiving end (and I have been!). I wouldn’t say, “UGH don’t unload that on me!” I would – and do – tell them I’m there for them and here if they need to talk, or laugh, or just be distracted, or not say anything (because with my crew, “We could not talk or talk forever…” IFYKYK :-)).

One thing I’ve learned from this stupid MS situation is that my friends and family are where I derive so much strength from. My love for them is boundless. I could (and should) probably write and send love letters to my best friends every day. In lieu of letters, I try to tell them, as often as I can, how much they mean to me.

If you’re struggling, feel ok with asking for help. Practice gratitude for the people in your life. Lean on your support network!