Sparklers
For some people, like me, MS causes some strange and unpredictable sensations. Common ways to describe the sensory changes are pins & needles, numbness, tingling, itching, burning, buzzing, or prickling.
This happens to me, mostly in my legs. And while I do feel all those things, at different times, and at different intensities, I prefer to think of it as feeling like sparklers.
You know, the little fireworks you hold and light in the backyard during the summer, that emits a warm golden glow and sparks. You can feel a little bit of heat coming off them, and sometimes they pop and a spark falls on your hand.
When the tingling starts to build in my legs, I think of it as tiny sparklers going off inside my body. It doesn’t happen all the time, but when it does, I feel the little sparks, the crackles, the heat. And like sparklers, the feelings eventually burn out and fade to black. Actual sparklers feel celebratory, joyful, and playful – these internal sparklers, not so much.
It doesn’t hurt necessarily…or maybe it does? I have a hard time distinguishing between pain and discomfort – or are they one in the same? It’s mostly annoying because I can’t turn it off and it feels weird.
This sensation happens when I’m walking, but only sometimes – and that’s really the most frustrating part. I never know when they decide to show up or how long they feel like staying.
Most of the time, I get a little angry at these sparklers. But if I’m able to move past the anger, or feeling particularly generous that day, I imagine I have magic powers. There are sparklers going off inside my body! That has to be the start of a fantasy novel or something, right?
